Why Trust Again When You Have Been Betrayed

Forgetting the first time is hard. That first time that someone we considered a great friend gives us back, or the first time that a person ...

Forgetting the first time is hard. That first time that someone we considered a great friend gives us back, or the first time that a person betrays us in a relationship. The first thing you think is that you will never trust again, that you have been too innocent and that no one will do you that harm again because you will not allow it. Something breaks inside of us when the fine and delicate cloak of trust and innocence that envelops us is broken.

Why Trust Again When You Have Been Betrayed
Somehow, at that moment, we feel that it has been cracked forever, but when our emotions are tempered and the distance of hours and days is making the echo of the wound dimmer, many of us come back to trust. Those who break forever become characters in series such as Barney Stinson or Dr. House and their cynicism prevents them from understanding why some return to embark on a journey as uncertain and dangerous as unconditional love or friendship.

We are always on time to start again. Entrepreneurs know better than anyone that pain and failure are intrinsic to success because they are the ones that allow us to learn. In each failed relationship, you learn how to relate better; And in every person who betrays you, you learn to find people who would not. However, there is always doubt, because the certainty that someone will always be there, and it will not fail you, we never have one hundred percent. That is why many people who are betrayed by someone end up paying them with all the others, and they end up distrusting even those who have never hurt them and in principle would want to do it to them.

The heart closes, protects itself, because no one likes to suffer, and especially it is painful the more sensitive the person to whom they hurt. That is why it is common to find soft hearts covered with a hard facade in life. The error many times is to think that we can heal the wound of another, those hard or even psychotic types in which we see a human and sensitive potential. You can not help them, nor anyone can do it, because you can not cure yourself if you do not want to, The first step to re-trust is to want to do it, to choose it, even accepting the pain that can come with it. As Sabina says: " do not sell love without thorns."

To trust is not a choice that is born of closing the eyes and not wanting to look, like the ostrich that hides the head. The confidence of the adult is even more authentic if that of the child, because it is based on the possibility of mistake, and therefore involves courage and a risky bet. It has always seemed to me a great phrase that says " you deceive me once, what a shame for you; You cheat me twice, what a shame for me. " And it is one thing to be confident, and another is to be naive, not to learn from mistakes or to distinguish traitors from afar.

Of course, it would be a pity that those who betray and hurt will also take the victory of having destroyed something else: it is one thing to hurt you and another to sink you. They the may hurt you, deceive you, or even take away your happiness, but there is something that no one can ever take away from you if you do not let them-the person you are. As the poet, Pablo Neruda said: "they can cut the flowers, but they will not be able to stop the spring."

Millennial Council: Do not let any traitor change who you are.

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