Relationship Advice: What He Really Wants - Part 1

They are usually quite basic and known to know if a man is dangerous or not. In fact, if we have all our little particular mimics that make ...

They are usually quite basic and known to know if a man is dangerous or not. In fact, if we have all our little particular mimics that make our charm and betray us, we also react according to genetic codes that have imposed themselves as the result of our feelings. So unless you go out with a perfect actor who has total mastery of his gestures, his redness, in short, his body, you should not go too far wrong.

A few years ago, I read a book by Sharon Jaynes,  Becoming the Woman of His Dreams. During her research, Jaynes interviewed hundreds of men to discover the qualities they look for in a wife.

Relationship Advice: What He Really Wants - Part 1
It will not surprise you to learn that sexual fulfillment is the most common response. (As if we had not guessed it, eh?) That's the reason why she says that sex is the super color of marriage. 
This is the first part of the series article. We had published the second part of this series article 'what he really wants' You can read the part one by clicking here.

Here are some examples of men's comments about their sex life:

"What would I want my wife to understand better about me and my desires? My need to see her more manifest her sexuality. I would like her to show more enthusiasm and creativity in this regard. I would like sex to be more fun and be a higher priority for us as a couple. "

The woman of my dreams would like sex as much as me. I do not believe that women understand how men are "made" for sex. They do not seem to understand it, and I do not know why it is. This may sound trivial, but it is the truth. "
Her research confirms our suspicions: for our husband, sexual fulfillment is not merely a desire but a fundamental need linked to his masculinity.

My discussions with other married women made me understand that sex is one of the most common conflict issues for couples. (It's not just my husband and me!) Often, for the woman, everything stems from her lack of understanding of the importance of sex to her husband. She persists in seeing sex according to her own perspective, and thus minimizes its importance. 

She sees it as optional, a task, occasional indulgence or even a source of frustration. She offers herself to her husband from time to time, hoping that he will desist for a few days, but she does so out of obligation, not for pleasure. Would that be your case? I think that is the case with many women, at least from time to time.

But if Jaynes is right and sex is the supercooled that binds the couple, then as women, we need to live it right, do not we? We must ensure that we do not allow the gradual disintegration of our marriage because we do not want or can not understand the importance of sex for our husband.

What does he really want?

Are your husband's sexual urges just natural impulses, his body telling him that he needs to ejaculate and that your body offers him the solution? Would it be rather that his sexual desires are linked to your person, that it is a need that can only be filled by the spiritual and physical intimacy that you share together during the sexual act? This may be vague in the mind of the woman: does my husband desire me, or does he just want my body?  We hear about married men who look at pornography and masturbate and say, "That's it! All that matters is ejaculation! We have come to believe that it is as simple as that. By talking with other women and responding to emails that my husband receives about this, 

Nowadays, women have good reason to believe that sex is only a physical act in the eyes of their spouses and that they only need it to satisfy their urgent sexual urges. Society is clapping the message - sex reserved for marriage, sex as a source of mutual pleasure between husband and wife, is only a vestige of a past epoch. Today, we are told that sex is nothing special. 

It is only a physical act with social hormonal effects without adverse consequences that require only one partner. Many women enter into marriage with this societal vision of sex inspired by movies, books, parenting advice or past relationships. The worst part is that sometimes the husband confirms this kind of message by taking what he can, Satisfying himself with the body of his wife when she refuses to offer herself entirely to him. 

After the act, he turns his back on her and falls asleep, unsatisfied, convinced that he could not awaken desire in her and that it is impossible for him to please her sexually. And the woman turns away from him with the impression that he has treated her as an object; She is more certain than ever of the fact that he is only a pervert who wants only his body. 

This vicious circle is perpetuated, with husband and wife also contributing. She is more certain than ever of the fact that he is only a pervert who wants only his body. This vicious circle is perpetuated, with husband and wife also contributing. She is more certain than ever of the fact that he is only a pervert who wants only his body. This vicious circle is perpetuated, with husband and wife also contributing.

It's not just the man who needs the sexual detoxification that my husband Tim talks about in his book  Sexual Detox. The woman needs it just as much as he does. You may never have looked at pornography, you may not have a high sexual past; However, you have believed in messages that prompt you to move away from your husband in your heart. You believe in lies, and you allow them to define your life as a couple. But fortunately, truth always prevails over lies. Let us review some facts to correct the error.

Above all, it must be understood that a fulfilled sexual life requires effort; Most people are surprised to learn that it requires skill and practice. One would think that this would come naturally, but often it is not. It may take time before the act becomes a source of mutual pleasure. We must come to know the other and to know ourselves. If a woman is a virgin on the day of her marriage, she may have false ideas about the wedding night. 

She expects fireworks and may wonder what is wrong with her if not. This question may persist for weeks, months, and even years. That's when the woman can start to believe that all her husband wants is her body. He seems satisfied with the state of things, whereas it is not. Bitterness and disappointment grow, and sex becomes a battlefield. Eventually, most couples learn to satisfy each other, but it is possible that in the meantime, the relationship will take a hit.


This is the first part of the series article. We had published the second part of this series article 'what he really wants' You can read the part one by clicking here.

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