8 Things You’re Doing Wrong When Your Friend Is Going Through A Breakup

5:28:00 AM

Everyone knows that breakups are the absolute worst when they happen to you. They are so painful, and it feels like the world is ending when you get dumped. Even if you’re the one breaking up with someone, it’s still terrible and upsetting. When you go through a breakup, it’s important to remember to take care of yourself and do what you need to do to get through it. And those things also apply to helping a friend get through a breakup.

8 Things You’re Doing Wrong When Your Friend Is Going Through A Breakup
Last year when I went through my really terrible breakup, I was fortunate to have some good friends give me a hand. Some of my friends though were not so helpful. When your friend is going through a breakup, it’s a lot easier to be all “Come on! Get over it!” than when it happens to you. 

I promise that kind of “help” isn’t helpful at all. So if you have a friend who recently got dumped, don’t make these mistakes:

Don't Tell Her To Stop Crying

No! How would you feel if someone asked you to stop crying when you literally couldn't stop crying? Your friend needs to feel her feelings whether she needs to cry, laugh, scream, or whatever. She's allowed to cry as much as she wants so let her. Tell her it's okay to cry because it means she isn't a robot.

Don't Force Her To Do Anything

Everyone is different, but it takes the time to feel comfortable getting out of your wallowing PJs and into a cute outfit. A lot of my friends just wanted to force me to go out and "have fun," but that wasn't fun for me because I was absolutely miserable. Don't make your friend do things if she doesn't want to. Even if she suggests going out, it might be better to just have a movie night with lots of ice cream.

Don't Let Her Do Anything Stupid

I have the tendency to do impulsive things when I get out of a relationship, and my best friend is always there to make me actually think before making a decision. If your friend in breakup mode wants to chop all of her hair off or hook up with her ex's friend or call another ex, voice your concerns and tell her to really think about it. Ask her what this decision will actually do in helping her through the recovery process.

Don't Set Her Up

It is not the time. Your friend needs to focus on herself and healing right now, not dating someone else. Sure, sometimes having a casual hookup after a breakup or a rebound can help, but most of the time it makes you miss your ex and feel sad. Do not try to set her up with anyone until she's ready.

Don't Tell Her You're Sick Of Talking About It

There's some sort of threshold where people get tired of hearing about your problems, and it's typically after two weeks. It's fine if you don't want to hear your friend rehash her breakup every day. That's okay, but don't start ignoring her once she stops crying. It takes a lot of time to heal from a breakup, and your friend needs you. You wouldn't want your friends to disappear just because a certain amount of time had passed, right? If you're sick of hearing about the breakup, try to direct the conversation to more positive things or tell her that it's going to help her more to focus on herself instead of her ex.

Don't Bash Her Ex

Yes, your friend just got out of a relationship, but she's upset right now. She hasn't entered the angry phase or the ex-hating phase yet. Don't talk smack about her ex. You might hate her ex now, but she's not ready to hear that yet. She still thinks her ex is the greatest thing since sliced bread and needs time to realize that they're better off.

Don't Talk About Your Relationship

If you're in a relationship or going on lots of dates, don't talk about it unless she asks questions. The last thing she wants to hear about is how happy you are in your relationship that's still intact. She doesn't want you to be miserable, but hearing about a happy relationship is going to make her remember what she doesn't have. Avoid discussing your relationship until she's feeling better.

Don't Let Her Isolate Herself

Isolation is one of the worst things when you're going through a breakup. You're already feeling alone because your significant other is no longer there. It's easy to stay in bed all day and not see anyone, but this can be actually detrimental to the healing process. Sure, it's difficult to get through the day if you can't stop crying. However, staying busy and being around your friends is one of the best breakup cures. If your friend keeps blowing you off because she's not up for it, go to her instead. Just even sitting with her in silence while watching TV can help a TON. It's just best not to let her be or feel alone.

Have you ever helped a friend through a breakup? What are your tips? What did your friends do to help you get through a breakup? Tell us in the comments below!

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