How to Rebuild and Restart a Relationship After an Infidelity?

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When a couple is confronted with infidelity, a real emotional tornado is triggered. It is an earthquake, an earthquake that shakes everything up.

For the spouse who has been deceived, it is a mixture of several feelings:
one feels humiliated, plundered, dirty, betrayed, touched in one's self-esteem.
And many questions that arise:
  • "What What have I done to deserve this? 
  • Will I be able to forgive this infidelity? 
  • How to respond to this betrayal? 
  • How to make him trust again after this infidelity? "
For the unfaithful spouse, it is often a feeling of guilt, shame, disbelief too:
  • "But why did I do this? 
  • How can I be forgiven for this infidelity? 
  • How am I to prove to her that I still love her after this infidelity? ".
How to Rebuild and Restart a Relationship After an Infidelity?
And for both, indeed this question that comes back with insistence:

  • "How did we get there? Why?"
  • This situation of anguish, of crisis, I know it well. 
  • I get couples every day confronted with this painful ordeal of infidelity.
And I will not hide from you that many couples do not get up.
Very often, infidelity leads to rupture.

But behind this blackboard, there are also couples who decide to get up.
To put things flat.
And to rebuild their couple after an infidelity.

Forgiving an infidelity: it is possible

Yes, there are solutions. And yes, it is possible to get out.
Deceived spouses manage to forgive this infidelity, this betrayal.
(Even if today you do not feel able, and perhaps even very far)

But for that, there is a real job to be done. It is not fair to say "forgiveness."

You can never forget the fault. True forgiveness must help you not to resent the other, nor to resent.
Nor should it be a means for you to feel superior to the other and thus humiliate the latter. True forgiveness must raise you both.

For all couples who wish to get up after an infidelity, I have created a unique accompaniment to help them in this reconstruction work.

I help you to restore a climate of confidence (the betrayed partner can legitimately become suspicious about the other actions and gestures of the other).

You will find tips to adopt reassuring and authentic behavior.

I accompany you in this process of rediscovering the other, rebuilding a new couple (A little as if you were returning to your beginnings).

A couple who goes through a test of infidelity can emerge strengthened and consolidated. Love regained, forgiveness of one, the regret of the other, all these factors can create even stronger bonds for a new beginning.

When you have total confidence in each other, you can be sure that you will be able to overcome many of the difficulties that will seem superficial to you.

But do not forget: it takes time, patience and sometimes helps. Your forgiveness will only be over when you have no more resentment towards the other and yourself.

Seven questions to ask yourself to strengthen your couple

Many of you have questions about your couple, your spouse. Here are seven questions to ask you and your spouse to take stock; to strengthen your couple and move in the right direction:

1. Do I get to be myself when I am with the other?

The danger is to hide from the other a part of you; Something you like less or which you are less proud of.

It is necessary to accept your imperfections and accept the look of the other on your whole person.

Yes, the other can love us with our flaws, even if you have trouble taking them! This is true love, as a parent with its child: it is made with its qualities and defects.

2. Do I feel that I am respected and loved for what I am?

It is not tolerable that your spouse violates your dignity. You can certainly make efforts to improve your life for two. But there are things your husband can not demand of you.

Your spouse can not constantly ask you to lose weight for example if this affects your esteem of you. We must find the right limit: define what is acceptable, and what is not acceptable because it hurts you.

3. Do we grow each other?

Do you make sure you are wearing up? To value the other to bring out the best of it? Do I feel that the other is listening to me and understands my needs? Is it necessary for me to find my balance?

4. Do I feel a real person by his side?

This is the idea of ​​submission. When the other gives me a positive image of myself, it helps me to find my assurance. I do not have to be in submission to find my place.

In the couple, the main idea is to feel worthy to be loved and therefore to be someone of value.

5. Can we trust each other completely?

If the answer is "no" then to look at this point! If I consider that the other has reasons not to believe me or if I can not trust the other, we must take it back.

Without confidence, it's hard and complicated to move forward. You are hurting yourself, even if sometimes you feel that it is for the good of your couple.

6. Do I try to get my couple to go above all?

Before friends, children, my professional and personal activities.

Apparently being a couple does not mean letting go and shutting oneself up in two. But everything I do next, even take care of my children, should never take more importance than my couple.

7. Can I feel safe even in the other's absence?

Last essential question: do I finally love myself enough to feel happy even in the absence of my spouse?

Making all her happiness in her relationship can be dangerous. You have to be solid yourself to overcome the couple life. And this solidity comes from each. To love oneself is to accept that the other loves us.

Know that each of these points can work at any time, there is no fate, and you deserve to live happy as a couple!

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