7 Conversations To Get Before Getting Married

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When you make a choice to formalize your union with someone, no subject should be avoided. Obviously, some topics may be more uncomfortable than others, but having tougher discussions can help you avoid several long-term problems.

7 Conversations To Get Before Getting Married
Psychologists and experts share seven unpleasant conversations to have with your gentle half if you want to avoid a possible divorce.

1. How close are you to your parents?

If you and your partner have a different degree of relationship with your parents, some problems will quickly show up on the nose. From the beginning of your relationship, discuss what makes you feel more comfortable, according to Kristin David, a psychologist, and mediator for New York divorces.

"Relationships with parents usually become a problem when one of the two families wants to spend more time with your couple during the holidays or when a child is born," she says. Ask yourself how you can each enjoy the presence of your families without one of the two being too intrusive. How do you not hurt anyone? "

2. What is the place of sex in your relationship?

Do not let the sex phase every day of the day fool you. It will not last forever. This is exactly why it is important to know what place sex has in your relationship, believes Aaron Aderson, a marriage and family therapist.

"Sex is a problem I often see. After a few years of relationship, when the routine settles, that's where the problems in the bedroom begin, he says. Sometimes partners have a different vision of sexual desires, at times they do not agree on the frequency of the reports. These types of problems are difficult to predict at the beginning of a relationship, but you have to know how to deal with them later. "

3. Do you want to have children? If so, how do you plan to educate them?

Once you agree to know if you want children and when you would like to go through this step, seriously discuss how you think to teach them. This is advice given by Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist from Arkansas.

"You need to figure out your limits on rules and structures," she says. A person can be very strict and severe, while another can be very relaxed. Know the ways of seeing things for each of you. "

4. What is your definition of monogamy?

Monogamy means different things for different people. To not pass the emotional barrier of your partner, have an honest conversation about the subject. Then try to define a definition that will do the job of all, thinks Elisabeth Joy LaMotte, a therapist from Washington.

"It's brilliant to clarify this definition. Not just about sex or whether you are exclusive, but also about social media and how you behave in front of others, she says. Ask the important questions: Can I always be friends with my ex? What is the degree we need to take when commenting on Facebook? Is it okay to spend the evening with a single colleague? "

5. How do you see your future?

Where will you be in five, ten, or twenty years? Does your vision of retirement include traveling to the other side of the world or watching Netflix every day?

Even if you do not have the exact science of the future, having similar expectations about your future is definitely a good thing, thinks Anderson.

"When a couple units, two lives are connected, for better and for worse," he said. Do not just ask yourself what your goals are, but also what your individual goals are. "

6. What is your relationship with money?

A study published in 2013 showed that couples who argue about money at the beginning of a relationship are more likely to divorce than others. To avoid entering this statistic, talk about finances, said Davin.

"Generally, if a couple talks about money, he speaks about what's around him too, but it's a tough and sensitive issue," he said. Start the dialogue with simple questions like: What is your relationship with money? How were you educated about money? How do you manage your finances? "

Once you have covered the subject, expect the issue to come back a few times. The ice is broken.

7. Do you have the same type of arguments?

The phase of the honeymoon will not last forever. At some point, you and your partner will have disagreements, and you will see how each manages the chicanes. When this time comes, it is important that your half is open to understanding your disagreement constructively, and health, "Whetstone said.

"Quickly learn how the other man handles his anger and more flaming discussions," she said. The most important thing about having a partner is whether you are consistent on this, even before marriage is an option for you."

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