4 Types of Relationships That Lead to Divorce

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Most fatal problems in a relationship is that could result in rupture occur due to an imbalance between the natural poles - stability and development of the family as a system. Psychologist Olga Gumanova explains what is happening and how to maintain the relationship for a long time. 

The balance in the relationship is an unpredictable thing. If, like Alice in Wonderland, always running ahead just to not stay in place, then one can suddenly find that a number is no longer a partner, who could not stand such a pace. Tells how to find a middle ground to allow and develop, and to be in long-term relationships.

4 Types of Relationships That Lead to Divorce
To start agree that under the growth and development we mean everything that makes a person stronger, and the set of its resources and supports - safer and richer. Education, career, sports, different hobbies, health care, new interesting acquaintances, search for meaning. Here are some options disharmonious relations in the pair can arise when the balance of the violation.

Man develops wife - no

This option role in a couple is traditionally welcomed. In our culture, approve, if a man aspires to new achievements, wins next career peaks, while his wife serves him "stiff rear," "haven."

If a woman becomes excessively "home" does not work or the work connected with the contacts to the minimum is not out of the family of a broad and varied circle of friends. And her husband - the only link that connects with the surrounding larger world, then it is likely that the usual way of interaction with husband manipulation will be for her.

When he - and the primary breadwinner, and in general people, which is entirely dependent on its existence, then lose it too scary. And the only possibility that something in life to get - is to get away from him, in the course will be any means: and "whips" and "gingerbread." 
The woman begins to evolve and improve in only one direction - how to achieve efficient from her husband what she needs right now. Pampering your body, or excommunicated from the body, fenced off resentment and cold wall or feigned flattering.

As a rule, men will sooner or later get bored and so much dependent on his people, and all of its games, each turn of which can already be predicted in advance. He begins to pull someone equal to an adult with whom you can negotiate, share common interests. The man pulls away; he starts to feel contempt for his wife, which, it is likely he once persuaded to stay at home. 

Out of this situation - to believe that her husband was not the only source of worldly goods. On your favorite boots, for example, you can earn, and the crane will repair plumber. A man should find out whether he is prepared to appreciate his wife, devoted herself to the family, or it needs an equal partner - an interesting, self-actualization. And in this case to support his woman on the way to its development, and not to lock her house. 

Wife develops husband - no

The situation when a woman earns more than the man, and quickly rises through the ranks, too, are not uncommon, but most "growing woman" takes on the role of family leader. It is on the psychological seminars and training of personal growth, learns the principles of healthy eating and implements them in your kitchen every morning is to plank, finds a spiritual teacher in India and goes to his school for two weeks, studying a fourth foreign language, taking lessons block -plenty.

The husband, who, if not totally everything, but a lot of her hobbies is uninteresting; the person is declared backward, stagnant, restrictions sofa, banks beer and a game of "tankini." The wife begins to take a lot of effort to involve him in a "correct, healthy, conscious' life, which she has already made some steps. In response, the men usually begin to defend themselves, with varying degrees of aggression, either explicitly or passively. A can and does go. Of course, there are those who have an active partner is the sense of competition, and they begin to grow to feel confident and to show who is the leader. Then the situation may improve.

Exit - learn to look for a partner with respect, as an adult human. It is possible that he did not try anything from the new trends, but it certainly somewhere there, and their dignity. In any case, he clearly does not deserve to be placed in student posture and told to listen to a paraphrase of what was spoken at the seminar guru. Perhaps an example of an active woman who is passionate about his work, it may inspire. Well, if not, women will have to decide - whether she likes the role of the most famous, if satisfied with the passivity of the second half, or the relationship stalled. 

Both do not develop

Externally, such couples often look touchingly fond of each other, idyllic even inspire envy. Old World Landowners Athanasius Ivanovich and Pulcheria Ivanovna, Philemon and Baucis. The problem is that such SLI Anno Sti partners and unanimity is achieved by a complete renunciation of individual development paths. Even if the family does not threaten divorce, life becomes fresh, annoying and no matter how the present.

Altogether, always together. Breakfast, dinner, vacation, cottage, watching the show, going on a visit. It would seem so friendly and together, but it is necessary only to want something outside the couple, so it is immediately very concerned about the partner and dramatically suppressed:

  • What, dear? Did I want to go with her friends in a boarding house in the spa bachelorette party? Come this nonsense; I'll rub your back himself.
  • English language courses in the evenings? Honey, why is it you want? What does the English have to do with your work? Let me best pancakes you tape Ku, with sour cream.
Twenty years of marriage, such partners often have a kind of "pop Adan Sev from the past" - they do not even look youthful and somehow teenagers, immature, and live with the settings of the past decades. As if time had taken the car the boy and girl of 1995 and released in 2017. If a couple has children, with their parents, they often form a closed community that resembles what some Amish refused to progress. Success in such vital principles also does not contribute, therefore, to such a family often save, alter, buy second-hand.
Exit - to learn to keep track of their desires, and not abandon them, even if the partner in return promises to "pancakes."

Both are developing, but drifting apart

It sometimes happens even physically - she goes to study in London, and he - to work in Singapore. Everyone has their plans; interests, ambitions, shared space is reduced and reduced until they disappear altogether.

How to be?
Reflect on how important it is to stay with this particular person. And, if it is important to remember is that a marriage or a relationship - it is at least two. Alas, if our desires are different, it is not in every situation you can find an option that suits both. Sometimes someone from the two has to give up their own, to stay together.

It is desirable that both developed and remain paired

This occurs when each of the partners also has their "rattle," but there is a standard long-term plan, which unites them. Relationship managed to build such a way that they have a place for personal and family-friendly. No one dries at a standstill, it is not converted into the domestic servant and does not fly away on the wings of the ambitions of the great sea. 

All can be realized here, and the partner will understand and support. This occurs when each paired aware of their personal responsibility for the development of relations and realized the family - is the contribution of the two, the search for compromise and the ability to keep their borders.

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