Marriage Isn't About Your Happiness

What true love will you teach you about you?  Did you ever think someone could show you love through a bologna sandwich? I didn’t think so...

What true love will you teach you about you? Did you ever think someone could show you love through a bologna sandwich?

I didn’t think so either.

Until I found out that my then-boyfriend-now-husband (a poor, broke, medical school student at the time) spent close to two months eating bologna sandwiches every day to cut down his grocery budget to $10 a week just so he could save up enough money to buy me an engagement ring.

The truth is, marriage will cost you.

Marriage Isn't About Your Happiness
When you think of the expense of the wedding, what comes to mind?

According to recent statistics, the average couple today spends $26,444 on a wedding. That’s a lot of money, but it’s nothing compared to the real costs of marriage. Because like it or not, marriage will cost you more than money. It will cost you something great. It will cost you a price much larger than the money you spend on a ring or a wedding or a honeymoon—it will cost you.

I heard a married man on TV say (regarding whether or not he was going to stay in his own marriage), “I shouldn’t be with someone if I’m not happy.” It’s an attitude many people have, and hearing it made my stomach turn.

What an accurate reflection of the self-centered society we live in, everyone believing their primary goal in life is their own personal happiness. What a small and shallow way to live.

If you’re getting married with your own happiness as your primary goal, you will be disappointed in a severe way.

Marriage is not about your happiness, it’s not even about you. It’s about love—which is something we choose to give time and time again. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving—and then doing it all over again.

No wonder we choose divorce over commitment. Because often, we’re choosing “personal happiness” over real commitment, over real love.

They say marriage teaches you more about selflessness than you ever wanted to know. I have definitely found that phrase to be true in my relationship with my husband. Because at the heart of it, real love is all about sacrifice. About the giving of yourself, in ways big and small.


  • It’s about offering forgiveness when you’ve been hurt.
  • It’s about giving your time though it’s not always convenient.
  • It’s about sharing your heart when you’d rather hold back.
  • It’s about cleaning the kitchen after a long weekend, even if it’s your least favorite job.
  • It’s about choosing to respond with love when you’d rather respond in anger.
  • It’s about offering a listening ear when you’d rather tune out or go to bed.
  • It’s about putting someone else’s needs and desires before your own.
  • It’s about giving up that last bite of cake just so your spouse can enjoy it.
  • It’s about laying down your rights, to make way for the rights of another.


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