How likely is it to be unfaithful to your partner?

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You love your spouse, and you'd never be unfaithful to her or him. How likely is it to be unfaithful to your partner? There are six questions that every person in a love relationship should ask themselves to evaluate if they are at risk of being unfaithful. 

I was very surprised by a recent study that pointed out that people would be more likely to cheat on their partner in the year before a major birthday. This suggests that if you are in a serious relationship, you are in a cycle where the odds of committing infidelity increase more or less every 10 years.

How likely is it to be unfaithful to your partner?
The researchers worked with Ashley Madison, a dating site for people seeking extramarital affairs, to analyze data from more than eight million men who had registered on the site. The study was one of six published together in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in 2014 that examined when people make significant changes in their lives. He found 950,000 men who were 29, 39, 49 or 59 years old, ages 9, and that their amount on the website was 18% higher than would be expected in a random selection. According to researchers at the School of Stern Business from the University of New York and the Anderson School of Management at the University of California, Los Angeles. The research also analyzed data from women and found a similar but less pronounced pattern.

Infidelity is one of the most complex and challenging to define areas of relationships studies. Most people do not want to admit that they have been unfaithful.

All, including experts, have a different definition of "infidelity." Some define it as merely a sexual encounter with someone who is not their spouse or regular partner. Others define it more broadly to include a variety of sexual activities, or even emotional infidelity, such as flirting or sharing secrets.

To begin with, if you break the rules of a sexual or emotional commitment in your relationship, whatever that may be, that is infidelity. Different relationships have different rules. You know when you break them.

The broader the definition of infidelity, the more common it will be. The number that seems to interest people the most is how often married people have sex with someone who is not their partner. Most studies indicate that between 20% and 25% of married people admit to having been in a sexual infidelity, says Justin Lehmiller, a psychologist at Purdue University who studies sex and relationships and author of The Psychology of Human Sexuality (Something like The Psychology of Human Sexuality).

Still, experts say that almost everyone has thought of tricking your partner at some time or another, whether they have fantasized a date with Bradley Cooper or flirted with a colleague during lunch.

Have you ever wondered if you are at risk of being unfaithful? Experts recommend that you evaluate these risk categories. People who engage in infidelity usually come in more than one.


If he is a man, he is more likely to cheat. "Testosterone is a risk factor, " says Kelly Campbell, professor of psychology and human development at California State University at San Bernardino, who studies infidelity.

The gender gap is not as wide as it used to be, says Campbell, and the broader the definition of cheating, the smaller the difference. Compared to previous generations, women today have more options, more power and more money to spend (romances cost). The Internet makes it easier to meet people.

Studies show that men and women tend to be unfaithful for different reasons. In 2007, researchers at Chapman University in Orange, California, and California State University in Los Angeles analyzed the results of a survey of about 60,000 people - heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual - with more than 100 questions about infidelity. In general, the men who had been unfaithful said that they were because they did not feel satisfied sexually.

" They were seeking sexual excitement and variety, " said David Frederick, an associate professor of health psychology Chapman and principal investigator of the study. The women stated that they had cheated on their partners because they did not feel emotionally satisfied. "They were more likely to fall in love with another or seek reassurance that they were still wanted," Frederick explains.

The study also found that men disliked the idea that their partner had a sexual affair and women were more reluctant to have their partners have an emotional relationship, a finding that was published in January on the Archives website Of Sexual Behavior.


Not only those who have years ending in 9 have a higher risk of falling into infidelity. People who are in the middle of their lives are less risky because they have less time and energy, says Campbell. "Between the ages of 35 and 50, people tend to focus on their careers and raise children," he says. "There is a greater probability of being unfaithful when he is not younger or older."


Some researchers call this the "environmental" risk. Are you usually surrounded by attractive people who could be good candidates for casual mates? Living in a city, spending long hours at work and frequently traveling without your partner puts you at greater risk of infidelity. The same thing happens if you work in close collaboration with others in duet.

A career advancement or promotion can put you at risk. "You'll have more opportunity," says Campbell. "You can invite someone to lunch or pay for hotel rooms."


The one who cheated once, will do it again? Not necessarily, experts say. Much depends on the reasons why he was unfaithful the first time. If the reasons are more personal than the relationship, one is at risk of being unfaithful again, says Campbell. If the reason was more the relationship, the risk of repeating it is not significant.

What if one or both parents were unfaithful? If you witnessed the pain that caused the infidelity of a parent, you could be careful not to fall into such behavior.

However, he may inherit some personality trait that predisposes him to deceive, such as the inclination to take risks. Also, if your dad and mom were unfaithful, you might believe that infidelity is the norm. You may even have noticed that being unfaithful has advantages. Maybe he helped his mother out of a bad marriage.

Dissatisfaction with the relationship

Studies show that this is a high-risk factor. However, many people who are not happy in their dealings are not unfaithful, experts say, and many who do cheat is for other reasons as well.

Infidelity and dissatisfaction with relationships operate in both directions: you may be deceived because you are unhappy in your relationship, but being unfaithful will make you even more miserable. People who are satisfied with their marriage are less likely to be unfaithful, experts say.

Sexual dissatisfaction is an important subcategory of relationship satisfaction. When Frederick, of Chapman University, probed the 60,000 people, he asked them to rate how identified they felt with the following postulation: "I am satisfied with my relationship with my partner." About 40% of those who said they strongly disagreed with the statement had been unfaithful, compared to only 10% of those who strongly agreed. The researcher obtained similar results when asked about this sentence: "I am satisfied with the sex life with my partner."


Two of the so-called Five Great Personality Traits show ties consistent with infidelity, according to studies. People who take little notes on "affability" (being kind and sensitive to the feelings of others) and "diligence" (being trustworthy and self-disciplined) are more likely to be unfaithful, says Purdue's Lehmiller.

Other traits linked to an increased risk of infidelity include narcissism (having an overly good opinion of oneself) and the search for sensations (the tendency to look for exciting and risky activities).

And then there are those who flee the engagement, who have what is called an "evasive" personality style. These people are much more likely to cheat, says Nathan DeWall, professor of psychology at the University of Kentucky infidelity whose eight studies were published in 2011 by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

"When you ask them what they think about cheating they say it's not bad," says DeWall.

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