The Science and Psychology Behind Falling in Love to Find Hapiness

8:04:00 AM

Science can explain why do we feel happy when we fall for love, and there is a very close relation with the psychology to be happy when you really fall for someone. Lets dive check this out to learn about your brain. But before we go, I would recommend you to define what really happiness means to you?
We know falling in love is scientific! But why Do We Fall In Love? What is the psychology behind falling in love? You were walking down the street, nothing was unusual and then suddenly she came out from a nearby shop and it happened that you fell in love with her at the first sight! Huhh!! What happened?

The Science and Psychology Behind Falling in Love to Find Hapiness
The answer is simple, its all related to how your mind works. If you are single or currently not in a relationship then your mind will always be on a hunt for your long awaited partner. Even if you think that you don't care about relationships now still you will fall in love with the first person who matches your criteria.
Related: Difference Between Love And Falling In Love

But why she? Why not someone else?

Each one of us has got some kind of a check list stored into his mind which includes the criteria that a person must meet in order for you to love him. If a person didn't match some of the items in this list then he becomes disqualified to be a potential partner and you will think of him as a friend. The items in your check list are of course unique and specific to you depending on your background, values, past experiences and beliefs. 
The following is an example of the first three lines of a check list of a guy called Fahim. Fahim is a guy and his list starts with the following three conditions:

  • Item one: She must have the same educational background as mine.
  • Item two: Her hair must be yellow (Fahim always failed to establish successful relationships with blonds in his past and so his subconscious mind included this item in his list in order to help him compensate for his past failures)
  • Item Three: She must be assertive. Fahim wasn't an assertive person and since we get attracted to those who have what we need therefore Fahim's mind included this item in his criteria.
If Fahim is currently not in a relationship and then he met an amazing girl who has black hair then most likely he won't fall in love with her (without understanding that the real reason he didn't love her is that she didn't match his subconscious criteria).
Read: 7 Things to Help Get Your Relationship Back on Track

People are usually unaware of their subconscious criteria and that's why they usually describe love as a mysterious thing that follows no rules but the truth is that when they become aware of their subconscious criteria they will be able to know why they fall in love with certain people and not others.
Once you become aware of your own list you will know how to stop loving someone and how to make someone fall in love with you.

Why do some people never recover from breakups

That's why people who think that the "the one" or the "soul mate" concept is true never recover from breakups. Those people think that there is only one match for their criteria in this world and because they aren't aware of the fact that there are hundreds of people out there who could meet their criteria they never recover from breakups. 

You can fall in love with any person as long as he matches your subconscious criteria and that's why you should never feel bad after a breakup, simply because sooner or later you will find another person who matches your criteria and he may even be better than the first one.

Does love at the first sight really exist?

Yes it does. If someone met your unconscious criteria the same moment you saw him then most probably you will fall in love with him at the first sight.
You might be asking yourself, how can i know that he meets my criteria while i never talked to him before? The answer is simple, the criteria might include items like the way he walks, talks or looks at you. 

This could also happen if the person's actions or looks reminded you of someone you loved before (people usually fall in love with those who are similar to the ones they loved before).

If your criteria depends heavily on looks then your chance of falling in love at the first sight will be much higher than that of a person who gives higher priority to personality or other qualities.
The Mystery of Love-Science: Why Do You Fall in Love?

I'm wondering if hormones make me happy! If "yes" it makes us happy, then what hormone help us to feel happiness? Why we can't be happy all the time?
The feelings we experience are nothing more than chemical reactions taking place inside our bodies.  

Each and every emotion we experience is a the result of the release of certain hormones inside our bodies. Some hormones are responsible for making us feel good, some are responsible for making us feel bad while some others are responsible for the feelings we get when we fall in love with someone.
The important question now is, can someone become happy if he alerted these hormones inside his body?

Yes that will certainly work however you must put in mind that unless you deal with the root cause of your problems your happiness won’t last for prolonged periods.

For example if you had a fight with your best friend then doing any of the actions that stimulate the release of happiness hormones might help you feel good for a short period of time but in the end your bad feelings will return.
So if the hormones won't help you feel good for prolonged periods of time then why its still recommended that you learn how to tweak them?
Simply because they can help you ease your pain and feel better until you deal with your problems Read this article to know how to force release the hormones that can make you happy.

hormones that make you happy

  • Serotonin: Serotonin is sometimes called the happiness hormone. Serotonin regulates the mood, prevents depression and makes you feel happy. Serotonin can be released by getting exposed to sunlight, by eating foods rich in carbohydrates and by exercising.
  • Endorphins: Endorphins can make you feel good, reduce your anxiety and your sensitivity to pain. Endorphins are released by exercising
  • Dopamine: Dopamine helps you to feel mentally alert. The lack of it might cause lack of attention, lack of concentration and bad moods. Dopamine can be released by eating foods that are rich in protein.
  • Phenylethamine: Phenylethamine is the hormone that results in the feelings we get in the early stages of a relationship. Cocoa beans contain Phenylethamine. eating chocolate might be helpful too.
  • Ghrelin: Gherlin is a hormone that reduces stress and can help you become more relaxed. Ghrelin is released when we become Hungary that's why eating too much is not always a good idea. Just eat according to your body’s needs and never fill your stomach completely in order to maintain good Ghrelin levels

Are hormones really effective?

Yes they are, but just as i said, if you didn’t tackle the root cause that is making you feel bad then these hormones will only act as pain killers and not as a permanent solution to your bad moods. 

When I encounter a problem I do my best to solve it and while doing this I get some aid from these hormones so that I reduce the pain as much as possible until my problem is solved.

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