God’s Design for Sex in Marriage – Feeling Fresh and Sexy!7:18:00 AM
God also designed sex for our pleasure, to be enjoyed in the marriage bed. Sex is meant to be a bonding experience with your spouse. What...
God also designed sex for our pleasure, to be enjoyed in the marriage bed. Sex is meant to be a bonding experience with your spouse. What does the Bible say about sex? Sex is a gift God gives to married people for their mutual enjoyment. Does the Bible prohibit sexual pleasure?
(Note: This post is written with Christian wives as my intended audience. If you are unmarried, please remind yourself that God's design for sex is within a marriage covenant only. "God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous" Hebrews 13:4.)
1 Corinthians is often the go-to book for God’s design for marriage in general. Excerpts are read at countless marriage ceremonies… “Love is patient, love is kind…,” yet Chapter 7 seems to be often overlooked. The Bible lays out God’s design: that a man and wife only be intimate with each other, and that they not deny each other so Satan cannot lure either with sexual temptations. (Read 1 Corinthians 7:1-6)
- It doesn’t say that sex should be only to produce children… in fact, it
says quite opposite. God knows we are sexual creatures (have you read
Songs of Solomon lately??), and he has designed sex within marriage to
help us control ourselves. Sex within marriage is good and holy. God
gave us sex as a means of glorifying him, as we fulfill His design for
marriage in procreation, intimacy, togetherness, and physical pleasure.
- That being said, it is explicitly stated that one of our wifely
duties is to give our bodies to our husbands (feminists step back… it
also says it is a man’s duty to give his body for his wife!), that we
not deny each other as a tool to help each other resist temptations.
But, when you get wrapped up in all of life’s obligations, it can be
hard to uphold this duty to each other. Keeping the home, raising the
children, cooking the meals, earning an income, maintaining our own
health and beauty… it can leave little time to get to “know” each other.
So when the newlywed period is over, how can you maintain a healthy sex
life, as God intended? Here are a few tips:
- Go to bed together! As often as you can, go to bed together. This may mean dropping your tasks to retire to the chambers early, or this may mean staying up a little later than you want so your hubby can finish up his nightly to-do.
- Always Kiss Goodnight! You’ve seen the plaques and pillowcases with this saying. It’s all sweet and cute when you are newlyweds, but after that, it turns into a necessary truth. And by kiss, I don’t mean a peck-and-roll-over driveby kinda kiss. Take a moment to give an intimate kiss and say something particularly nice. Some nights, this may be just an intimate moment, and others this may lead to more.
- Read Songs of Solomon together! If you haven't yet, take turns reading aloud the him and her roles in the first chapters of Song of Solomon. You might be surprise at what the Bible can accomplish in your sex life!
- Schedule it! Like everything else that you need to get done, put it on the books. Designate a night or two or three for intimate time with your husband. This doesn’t necessarily have to mean sex, but definitely clear out all obstacles that might prevent it.
- Keep the Bedroom Sacred! It is so easy to turn our bedrooms into clutter catching, tube blaring rooms, with dirty clothes coating the floor. Find other places to stack up clutter (or just put it up where it goes!), keep the TV watching to the den, and use a stinkin’ hamper! This way, your bedroom is just that… a room where you go to bed… together… in sexy panties…
- Spice it up! Check out Candice's post on some simple, frugal ways to spice up your sex life after you've tied the knot. There are countless ways you can do something a little special, just to get the ball rolling. Somehow, a bit of foreplay can give you a big boost of energy!
- Be Ready! You probably don’t have the time or energy to take a steamy shower, shave your legs, volume up some sexy hair, touch up your make up, put on the little outfit and heels, and spritz that perfume before making your grand entrance into the bedroom (where you hubz is in his boxers without the holes, spread out on the bed in that sexy pose, giving you the come-and-get-it look, right?). But coming to bed in your granny panties, 3 days overdue for a shower is probably not going to get you anywhere in the sex-it-up department! I am not advocating subjecting yourself to an awfully uncomfortable g-string 24/7 just in case, but you can find sensible options to stay sexy… your version of sexy!
- Keep it Fresh and Sexy! Consider freshening up before and after sex with Fresh and Sexy wipes, available at your local Walmart in the "Family Planning" section or online at the Fresh and Sexy Website. They are soft, cloth-like wipes that keep you clean, confident, and ready! There is nothing sexier than good hygiene! For me, this is a great way to eliminate any insecurities I might have about my nether regions while feeling confident that I am bringing my best to my husband. I just keep some in the nightstand and some in the toilet room, and you better believe that I am go to bed feeling Fresh and Sexy! (Pst… I also keep a few in my purse… I’ll let you use your imagination for that one…)