It's Okay to Not Be Happy All the Time

NONE OF US ARE HAPPY ALL THE TIME. AND THAT'S A GOOD THING, TOO. We live in a culture where ...

NONE OF US ARE HAPPY ALL THE TIME. AND THAT'S A GOOD THING, TOO.
We live in a culture where happiness is the pinnacle. It’s a climax of emotion that we must always be striving toward. So much so that when our circumstances prevent us from feeling happy, we feel as if we’ve failed at life. It’s as if we can’t measure up to these ideal feelings and that it is nobody’s fault but our own.

True happiness doesn’t operate like that. Rather, the most authentic happiness is best felt when complemented with a wide range of other emotions: sadness, anger, boredom, love, excitement. The most satisfying state of happiness is like the dessert at the end of a meal or a hot shower after coming in from the cold.   
The most authentic happiness is best felt when complemented with a wide range of other emotions: sadness, anger, boredom, love, excitement.
Conversely, while being sad is an uncomfortable state, it’s a genuine and necessary emotion.  
Sidestepping and ignoring these feelings of sadness (or anger or boredom or insert-any-“negative”-emotion) can cause it to build inside and explode unexpectedly.
MY EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER
For me, the aftermath of ending a significant relationship resulted in a long spell of sadness. There were moments when I’d burst into tears unexpectedly in the car, in my office, or at a restaurant. Although it was painful to feel this way, a part of me relished it, too—the flow of the emotion through my body.
Being the one to end the relationship, there were moments that I questioned the grief. No matter the catalyst, ending a relationship of any kind after many years is akin to death, which no Band-Aid or happy pill can quickly remedy.

Meanwhile, other aspects of my life were incredible—I had moved to a new city, I was traveling, making new friends, looking for a new job, and writing and publishing on top of that! Still, a cloud of sadness continued to float above me, and you know what? I let it. When I felt like crying, I cried; when I felt like going to work makeup-less, I did; when I felt like having cereal for dinner, I let myself.
THE SUNSHINE EMERGES
Slowly, the tears began to dry up, the fatigue was replaced by pockets of energy, and my cravings for sugar dissipated. Now, happiness feels differently than it ever felt before. It feels earned, and simultaneously authentic, vivid, and prismatic. More importantly, having experienced that intense sadness, I’ve realized how the depth of emotion can be both an agent for self-betterment and a catalyst for developing enhanced compassion for others.
It is okay to not be happy all the time; in fact, it’s normal not to be happy all the time.
It is okay to not be happy all the time; in fact, it’s normal not to be happy all the time.
More importantly, experiencing the depths and range of all of our emotions makes us more creative and innovative. It ultimately makes us better workers, lovers, and citizens of the world. 
As Khalil Gibran said, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” So, just remember: it’s okay to have cloudy days – the sun will shine again.

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