Emotional and Knowledgeable Boundaries Invasion of Children

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There are other forms of boundaries invasion such as emotional and intellectual boundary invasion. This happens when you are allow yourself to be easily caught up in the emotions, beliefs, ideologies, relationships, responsibilities etc. of others. If you cannot protect yourself from such invasions, you risk being bruised, wounded and battered.

Examples of emotional & intellectual boundary invasions are:

  • Allowing yourself to be influenced and overwhelmed by another person’s feelings. Your mirror their present state happiness or sadness to yours without actually allowing your true feelings to surface.
  • When you have to let go of your dreams and goals in other to make the other person happy.
  • When you think you have to be the one to tell people how to live their lives
  •  Finally, when you shift the blame or refuse to take responsibility for your actions.

Benefits of setting Healthy Boundaries:

ü  It enables us to develop high self-esteem and respect that allows us to be well treated by others.

ü  Healthy boundaries allow us to have our opinions, thoughts, feelings and needs articulated in a respectful manners and not feel threatened when others think otherwise. 

ü  It also prevents us from being trapped with the web of other people’s needs, thought, feelings and desire. We know where to draw the limit of sympathy and compassion.

ü  We do not feel manipulated to disclose personal issues unless we are certain we are in a mutually sharing/ trusting relationship.

Where to Set Boundaries

Are you in doubt as to where to set boundaries in your life? Below are some areas where you can set personal boundaries.

Work Space – Working from home is quite exciting. However, it can be frustrating when there is no proper understanding by others on how you wish to use your times and supplies. It is quite important that everyone around you know their bounds especially when to call on you, or how they make use of your gadgets and stationery. When you successfully communicate your boundaries to them, you will have the freedom and productivity you truly desire.

Team Work:  When you are part of a team, it is so tempting to prove that you are capable of doing more than what is required of you, especially if you have a problem of saying yes to everything. Try as much as possible to reject every request of adding more to your responsibilities graciously, otherwise you risk suffering from exhaustion and burnout.

Friends & Relatives: No one is island and your family needs you as much as you need them. That is not to say you have to cater to all their needs. Let them know of your decision to set boundaries especially when it comes to sharing household tasks. You should also be considerate and let them know before hand of the new boundaries you have set and ensure you stick to them, no matter what.

Time – If you are as guilty as most people in time management, then you should be thinking of setting up a self- imposed constraint to achieve efficiency. For example, if you have to finish a task within a scheduled period of two hours, it is better you constrain yourself to an hour slot so as to prevent you from actually wasting the two hours and not get anything really done.

Health Care – We know that all work and no play makes things worse. It is important to put boundaries in place to avoid over-working and to give yourself adequate rest. Set limits as to when and how you will eat out, when to stop work and put in place an exercise routine that will help to keep you sharp and on top of your game.

So, now that you know, which of these statements reflect your personal boundaries limits.

  •      Walk all over me
  •      Enter at your own risk - Free access
  •      Knock before entering
  •      For sale
  •      Do not disturb

Setting personal boundaries for children

Some parents have crossed the line of parenting to friendship in a bid to get closer to them. Children must learn to recognize the authority placed on their parents, who in turn are expected set the pace for them to grow into healthy adults. It is good in a way when parents show themselves as role models and institute personal boundaries that the children can adopt, it makes them trusted as the children can understand why the boundaries were set in the first place

Creating personal boundaries for children involves consistency. This serves two major functions. One, it helps the child to grow up without being self-centered and secondly, the children are able to embrace the boundaries as being necessary. As children differs in age and reasoning, it is expected that parents set realistic boundaries that can be expanded or negotiated as the child grows older.

If this is not well molded and cultured among children, it can lead to the destruction of the child.

Boundaries are stretched as children grow and gain new skills. It is important that the parent let the child knows the reason and the expected outcome of the personal boundaries set.

In addition, parents should train their children to know the power that personal boundaries gives, which is the option of choice. 

Once children understand that beneath each limits set are choices that can be generated, it enables them embrace such limits faster. Give children options for activities; setting parameters that fit the family’s budget, routine and family guidelines and learn not to compare or use other families as standard for their own.

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